


Unspoken

by Chainthatbinds (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-23
Updated: 2011-07-23
Packaged: 2017-11-14 22:57:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Chainthatbinds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times when John Winchester struggled to say certain things to Mary Campbell (Winchester)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unspoken

1\. “I'm Sorry.”

Mary Campbell couldn't stand John Winchester. He drank too much. He was stubbon; he never listened to a word of reason once his mind was set to something. He had the emotional range of door knob, too. On top of everything else, he had this habit of staring at her. It was strange and made her feel anxious whenever she caught him doing it.

Liddy Walsh teased the hell out of Mary, telling her that the only reason Winchester got under her skin so much was because she secretly liked him. Sometimes she hated Liddy. Matt told her that he was pretty sure John liked her. If he did, then he really needed to work on his communication skills. Every time the two of them dared to talk to each other, it turned into an argument. Once it'd almost led to Mary punching him. The two had silently agreed to stay away from each other after that.

When Mary's mom called out to her saying that there was someone at the door for her, the last person she was expecting was John. The bouquet of white and yellow carnations in his hand was even more confusing. She was used to John's stare but when her own mom was looking at her like she'd lost her mind, she knew something was wrong.

“Mary,” Deanna Campbell coaxed, “are you gonna stand there with your mouth hanging open all day or...”

That's when it hit her that she was standing in the middle of the stairwell, most likely looking like a deer caught in headlights. She shook away the million thoughts rushing around in her head and finished her trek to the door. With a quick, knowing look from her mother, they were left alone.

“Hey.” John's eyes suddenly seemed to be searching for somewhere to look that Mary wasn't occupying. “I, uh... these are for you.” He awkwardly pushed the flowers forward. Mary took them from him, giving them a quick smell. “I was driving around and saw these in a window. They reminded me of you.”

Mary did notice that the pale yellow did have a similar hue as her hair. She didn't know exactly what he was trying to say. She was pretty sure John couldn't stand being around her as much as she was annoyed when he was around. _I don't get annoyed by that._ She mentally correct herself. _I just hate arguing with him._ She stopped her internal argument when she saw John was looking at her expectantly. She pushed a smile on to her face. “I see.”

The sides of John's mouth started to droop. “It's stupid, I know. I just wanted to, uh... I realize that sometimes I rub you the wrong way. Well, actually Matt, Liddy and a handful of other people told me. It explained a lot. I kinda felt silly for not really noticing. Well, stupid's the right word.” He lowered his head. “I'm rambling, sorry.”

Mary searched his face. He was trying to say something but she couldn't figure out what it was for the life of her. He definitely did need to work on his communication skills. Taking in the lack of eye contact, the rambling and the flowers, she guessed it. _Is John Winchester actually trying to apologize for something?_

Mary quickly moved her hands to his face, forcing him to look at her. “John, it's okay.” She had no idea why it was suddenly okay, but it was. “We're okay, alright?”

Mary wasn't sure if what John did next was smile but it wasn't a frown. It was a good start.

 

 

2\. “I Love You.”

“Mary Campbell, you listen to me when I say this.” Her father was having one of his melo-dramatic moments. “I don't care if he's the Queen of England. Family comes first! The family business comes before some damn date! You are coming with me to deal with this spirit in Lecompton and there's nothing else to it!”

“Samuel.” Her mother gave him a one word protest.

Mary lashed back. “Since when do you need my help with some cranky old spirit that's been around since the Civil War? You just don't like the fact that I'm dating someone who isn't in this stupid lifestyle that you've forced on me!”

“Mary...” Deanna warned her daughter.

“John Winchester is a fine man for a, for a-”

“For a what? For a 'naïve civilian?' God, dad, you're unbelieveable.” The doorbell rang. Everyone went quiet for a second, staring at the door like the devil himself was on the other side and ready to kill them all. Mary picked the conversation back up but in a more hushed tone. “I'm going to open that door and John is coming in to meet you guys. He's been dying to introduce himself-”

“We've known John for as long as he's been in Lawrence.” Samuel interjected.

“He's been dying to introduce himself as my boyfriend.” Mary insisted. “After that, he and I are going out on the date we've had planned for a week. Are you going to behave, dad?”

Samuel pursed his lips and squinted his eyes before finally saying. “I need to get ready to go out for this hunt.”

That was all Mary needed to hear. She stormed past her parents, grabbing her coat and saying nothing more than, “You're impossible, you know that?”

She opened the door seeing John with a smile on his face. The smile shifted into a confused frown when he could tell something was wrong. Before he could ask anything, Mary looped her arm around one of his and forced him to follow her away from the house and to the car.

“Mary, what's going on?” He sounded concerned. Her dad had a similar tone when something bad would happen on a hunt. Mary found some twisted humor in that. “I thought I was finally get a chance to talk to them.”

“My dad, he's-” she shook her head, “I don't wanna talk about it, John.”

John quickly rushed over to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for her. He'd done that every time he picked her up for about the first month of their dating. He started to slack on it for a while, saving it only for special occassions and when Mary was mad at him. She kissed him on the cheek and got in the vehicle.

After closing the door for her, he walked back to his side and jumped in himself. His right hand hovered over the ignition without touching it before it putting in his lap instead. “I've accepted that there's stuff about your family you don't want me to know. I really want to know everything about you, but I'll take what I can get.” Mary opened her mouth to stop him but she knew once he got started like this, he wouldn't stop until he was finished. “I just wish that you'd give me a chance to prove myself to your mom and dad.”

Mary tried to laugh at that but it came out as a sob. “No,” she whispered, “you don't need to prove yourself to anyone. If anything, they need to prove themselves to us.”

John looked over at her, staring in the way he'd always had. Mary understood what the look meant now. He was longing for a way to protect her and give her the world. He was trying tell her with his eyes everything that he had actually wanted to say out loud. His hands moved over and took hers. They were rough from years of working as a mechanic and being a soldier. “Mary, I just want you to know that... if you asked me to take you away from here, I'd leave my job and drive us as far away from Lawrence as you'd let me. I have a little money saved up and I'm sure I could trade this piece of junk for something better with it. We could- we could just drive around, staying in motels until we figured it out.” Mary wanted to say how that was a little too close to the lifestyle she was already trying to escape but, once again, John didn't give her a chance. “I'm just saying that... I'd do anything for you, Mary.”

She shook her head and sighed before moving as close to him as the car would allow and hugging him with all her strength. She whispered in his ear. “Thank you, John. I love you, too.”

 

 

3\. “I Miss You”

John, carrying his youngest son in his arms, stood before a tombstone. There wasn't a body below it. There wasn't even a casket. All reports said that there was nothing left of his wife to bury. Considering almost all of her possessions burned up in the fire as well, all that was left of her was John's memories.

Some relative of Mary's donated the tombstone in her memory. They claimed to be an uncle. Considering John hadn't met this person while she was living and didn't get to meet them after, he couldn't say it was true. In the end, it really didn't matter. It was a pale, tan color that almost appeared pink when the sunlight reflected off of it. The words etched into it the marble appeared white. He guessed that was because it was done just a few days before.

Mary Winchester  
1954 - 1983  
In Loving Memory

Dean, who'd been clinging to his leg and staring up at him silently tugged at his pant leg. John looked down and saw tears sliding down his oldest son's face. John couldn't take it. It was one thing for him to feel this kind of pain but he couldn't bear to see his children going through it too. Dean didn't say a single word. He'd barely talked at all since his mother had passed away. He communicated instead through pointing at the headstone. John knew exactly what he was asking. He nodded, giving him permission to go over and touch it.

As soon as Dean's four-year-old hand brushed over the stone, John let out a deep sigh and let all the tears he'd been holding in flow. The pain in his throat and invisible void in his chest grew as a result. His breathing went irregular enough that little Sammy started to stir, making grumpy noises to show he didn't like his nap interrupted. John shushed and bounced him lightly in his arms.

Once Sam quieted down again, he looked over and saw Dean leaning against the tombstone, fast asleep. He smiled at the sight, though the tears were still sliding down his face.

“Mary, I-” he had just barely started talking and he was getting choked up. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Mary. And I love you. I love you... so much. I'm-I'm... I miss...”

John's emotions took full control of his body and cut off his ability to speak. Instead, he moved over next to Dean and sat down. He gently brought the boy's head onto his lap, doing his best to not wake him up and weeped uncontrolably. He wasn't sure how long he did it but the sun was above him when he started and it was setting when they were leaving.

**Author's Note:**

> http://chainthatbinds.livejournal.com/


End file.
